The Bible: A Source for Ancient Trash Talking

Since we’re studying 1 Kings in our college group, I decided to read through it once again.  Recently, I read the story where Ben-Hadad and Ahab exchange messages, and for some reason this time it struck me a bit differently.  In this story, Ben-Hadad tells Ahab that all he has belongs to him, and Ahab responds politely (or perhaps cowardly) and agrees.  However, then Ben-Hadad basically tells him, “I was serious, I’m sending people to take everything,” and Ahab denies him due to the advice of the elders.  Ben-Hadad then responds:

“May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if enough dust remains in Samaria to give each of my men a handful.”

Translation: “I’m about to come wreck you.”

Ahab shoots back: ““Tell him: ‘One who puts on his armor should not boast like one who takes it off.’”

Oh snap, no he didn’t.

Ahab was like:

You better not just be talking.

And then Ben-Hadad be like:

It is on like donkey kong.  “Ben-Hadad heard this message while he and the kings were drinking in their tents, and he ordered his men: ‘Prepare to attack.'”

Oh, he mad. 😉


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