My leak closed once, and then it reopened (or another one opened) when I vomited. Then it closed again, only to come back and this time come back worse. It was brutal two nights ago, and it slowly got worse. The best choice was clear: It’s time to get surgery. My mother prayed about it and I did, and it seems like this is the right choice (or else I’d have to just sit here more and… wait). I informed the surgeon yesterday.
The day really didn’t get better. I wasn’t having pain from just sitting there; I was having pain from coughing. I’ve been put on an antibacterial regiment for a few days to battle the possibility of pneumonia, and while there hasn’t been any bad signs like a fever, coughing was hurting a ton. Some combination of cough medicine and pain killers finally put me to sleep. I was hesitant to take more painkillers, but the nurse insisted I take a small dosage of morphine after taking a small one of hydrocodone just about an hour earlier.
“Isn’t this going to knock me out?”
“Oh no, this is a really small dose.”
Too bad it knocked me almost immediately. Not only that, I started to feel sick. I drifted into a very bizarre state where I was more or less out cold but very conscious and even aware of some things happening around me.
As odd as it sounds, I had one of my best prayer sessions with God in a long time as I was “knocked out” for about four hours. As I eventually fought off the nausea, I repented of some things I had done and thanked God I was alive. I prayed for my family, my friends, my fellow college leaders, and my church. It was not exactly the most comfortable thing, but hey, why not pray if I’m plastered to my bed like a corpse. I kind of think that’s how drunk people feel.
Anyway, I got up and coughed some more until some more cough medicine kicked in again. Man, it hurt a lot. The most annoying thing. Not only that, I feel like the freaking chest tube is not working properly because now I often have to stand up and do awkward poses to try to flush some air out. I’m sure it’s amusing to look it but it’s pretty exasperating, because I often have to get up when I want to lay down because my head hurts. Continue reading