The Song of Songs: Yes, there is a book about sexual love in the Bible

Around last summer, I was made aware of a series of sermons Mark Driscoll preached over the notoriously difficult book, the Song of Songs, at a Christian conference in Ireland in 2007.  Evidently, he preached it as a book that celebrated human sex, therefore calling it his favorite book of the entire Bible.  He readily talked about things like stripping, oral sex, and orgasms, and he was fairly raunchy in his descriptions, pretty much treating the work as a “how-to” book on an exciting sex life.  When the content of what he said became public, many evangelicals were furious at his treatment of the book, none more so than John MacArthur, who called it a “rape” of the Song of Songs and demanded that Driscoll step down from the pastorate.  Driscoll has since apologized and removed any recordings of the sermons from his church’s website.

After hearing about this, I spent some time scouring the Internet for a copy of his sermons, and I was disappointed that I could not find one.  After all, isn’t it the Internet?  Can’t you find pretty much anything on it?  I can find basketball games from 1984 and Power Rangers episodes from 1994, but I can’t find a sermon from a famous pastor from 2007?  Surprising.  The best I could find was a transcription of parts of his sermon that some found to be the most offensive.  When I read it, I admit that I laughed and I laughed.  I could not believe he had the audacity to say such things.  I wasn’t really offended (I don’t get offended easily), and while I do think that many conservative Christians need to lighten up, I definitely agree that he was inappropriate in many respects.  I will post the link to the transcription, if you are so bold to read it.  I thought about posting the link a long time ago on Facebook and linking all of our college students so they could laugh at it, but I thought it might just confuse them too.    Well, they are “adults” (sorta) and I will try to explain the book, so here it is:  https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=13XI1e1zW1–7aX3t8n7uzFr3XylWcGKcEmaeQ7_55nw&pli=1

To start off, I’ll list some lines that I found hilarious and that are not quite as vulgar (emphases are mine): Continue reading

Why Asian Dudes Are the Least Desirable Partners

Recently, in the car with some Asian folks, someone brought up the well-known and oft-repeated idea that Asian men and African-American women are considered the least desirable to date.  This is something, mind you, that many people claim they hear in sociology classes that use marriage and/or dating statistics to support this conclusion.  Personally, I have never examined the methodology and arguments associated with this idea, but even though sociology is often a bogus discipline with questionable methods and crappy logic because sociology is so cool, we’ll just take their word for it.

Since I am not an African American female, I cannot speak for them so I will pass that by.  However, I am an Asian male, so how do I explain why people of my kind are not liked?  I mean, aren’t Jet Li and Jackie Chan certified bad-A’s?  Remember when Bruce Lee thrashed Kareem Abdul Jabbar in a movie?  Asian guys can’t be that bad.

So what’s the deal?  I think I know why:  Girls are intimidated by the intellectual and dextrous superiority of Asian males, so they go seek lesser brutes that are taller, jump higher, lift more, and throw a football farther.  Here are some areas that make girls feel too insecure about themselves:

1.  Asian males dominate girls in video gaming.

Girls are competitive creatures, contrary to what they often pretend, and every once in a while they want to feel like they can win at something.  Against other idiot boys, they can maybe win at Monopoly or other lame games.  Against Asian guys in our arena, they got no chance.  I’ve played girls at Starcraft before, and it was the equivalent of running over a bunny rabbit with a mack truck.  One time a girl played with us and I toyed with her so badly that I rushed straight to Ultralisks, without building anything else, and then ran over her base while her useless mutalisks watched.  FACE!  If you don’t know what that means, it is further confirmation that you are not Asian and not cool.

I have also played girls at Street Fighter and other fighting games.  Normally, they pick a girl character, like Chun-Li, to pretend that they’re actually as athletic and attractive as she is, and then mash buttons, only to eat multiple dragon punches that beat down their girl pride.

Facepalm.  Almost as bad as girls driving.

No wonder they run from us.  We rank higher on Starcraft ladders, our RPG characters have better items, and we can defeat Super Mario faster than they can.  Noobs. Continue reading

Communicating Biblical Truth: Content Over Delivery

One of the most common complaints you will hear from someone about a pastor’s preaching is, “I just don’t get anything out of it.”  Normally, when you ask this person what exactly is wrong, biblically, about it, they look befuddled that you even asked that.  The typical reasons why they do find a pastor’s messages to be useless is because they don’t like his speaking style, they don’t think he’s eloquent, or they simply think he’s boring.  While we should not discount the importance of developing and utilizing communication skills, this focus on delivery over content is very irresponsible and is one of the chief ways people get deceived.

Now I want to again make clear that communicating well is a vital part of preaching or writing.  When I preached for class, my professor said he loved my manuscript and complimented my writing, but told me he’d like to see far more passion and nonverbal movement when I speak.  Fair enough; I know that I’m much more of a writer than a speaker, but that doesn’t mean that I should not try to improve on the latter.  Similarly, there are many who may speak well but write poorly, and they should certainly try to shore up their writing skills (even if they can more or less cheat and have editors/secretaries fix everything for them).  Anyone who wishes to communicate something should try to do so in the most accessible and understandable manner possible.

However, the trend in most people, in and out of church, is to care far more about delivery than substance.  For example, during the 2008 presidential elections, people would tell me that they loved Obama.  When I asked them why, the most common response was, “Man… he’s just eloquent and charismatic.”  I have no desire to comment on politics at the moment, but whether you agree with Obama’s policies or not, the mere fact that someone is a charismatic speaker is a horrible reason to vote for him if you don’t know squat about what he stands for.  You know who else was a great speaker?  Hitler.  He was also an evil crazy person.  (Quick aside:  I did NOT compare Obama to Hitler, but rather the foolishness of focusing too much on someone’s speaking skill rather than the logic behind what they’re saying.  Just throwing that out there in case some knucklehead comes and throws a fit.)

Bringing this back to communicating the Bible, it is no secret that the most popular preachers today normally tend to be those who are gifted public speakers, at least in some respects.  They are either passionate, funny, witty, eloquent, motivating, or some combination of those.  That, in itself, is not bad; in fact, if they are so gifted by God to do so, they should use those gifts to their fullest.  The problem I have with many listeners is that that is all they seem to care about.  They don’t analyze the logic behind what the speaker is saying, whether or not his exegesis of the text is accurate, or whether or not he even cares to base his sermon on the text.  They just like to listen to him because it’s pleasant or entertaining, which is simply not wise thinking. Continue reading